What Is Chronic Invalidation?
Often chronic invalidation occurs when a person’s feelings or experiences are repeatedly denied, ignored, or judged. For example, this can happen in childhood, relationships, workplaces, or even within oneself. Common examples include being told to “get over it,” “stop being so sensitive,” or “you’re overreacting.” These messages teach the brain that emotional expression is unsafe, leading to suppression and self-doubt.
The Nervous System’s Response to Invalidation
The human nervous system is designed to detect safety and threat. Therefore, when emotions are invalidated, the body perceives emotional expression as dangerous. This triggers the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses, keeping the body in a state of chronic stress. Over time, this can lead to:
- Hypervigilance: Constantly scanning for danger or disapproval.
- Emotional numbness: Difficulty feeling or expressing emotions.
- Somatic symptoms: Headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, or fatigue.
- Anxiety and depression: Persistent feelings of fear, sadness, or emptiness.
- Difficulty trusting others: Expecting rejection or misunderstanding in relationships.
The nervous system becomes dysregulated, oscillating between hyperarousal (anxiety, panic) and hypoarousal (numbness, shutdown). This imbalance can make it difficult to feel safe, even in calm environments.
Recognizing the Signs of Chronic Invalidation
Recognizing the effects of chronic invalidation is the first step toward healing.
Here are the common signs of chronic invalidation:
- Feeling guilty or ashamed for having emotions
- Struggling to identify personal needs or boundaries
- Over-apologizing or people-pleasing
- Feeling disconnected from the body or emotions
- Experiencing chronic tension or fatigue
- Difficulty trusting one’s own perceptions
In addition, these patterns often develop as survival strategies in invalidating environments but can persist long after the original experiences have ended.
How Therapy Helps Rewire the Nervous System
In therapy, emotional experiences are acknwledged and respected creating a safe, validating environment. This consistent validation helps retrain the nervous system to recognize safety and regulate more effectively.
When you are in therapy, your therapist may use approaches such as:
- Somatic therapy: Helps clients reconnect with bodily sensations and release stored tension.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Teaches emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills.
- Trauma-informed therapy: Focuses on safety, empowerment, and nervous system regulation.
- Mindfulness-based therapy: Encourages awareness and acceptance of emotions without judgment.
Through these methods, you will learn to identify triggers, regulate your nervous system, and rebuild trust in your emotional experiences.
Healing Through Validation
Healing from chronic invalidation involves learning that emotions are not threats—they are signals. With therapeutic support, individuals can develop self-validation skills, strengthen emotional resilience, and restore balance to the nervous system. Over time, the body learns that it is safe to feel, express, and connect again.
